How to take more risks and conquer your fears...
It's time to stop waiting, love. It's time to live your life, girl! If you're guilty of always waiting for the perfect time, the perfect moment, for all the pieces to align perfectly you're really just waisting time. The real problem is your lack of confidence. You may be saying, "well I'm just a perfectionist" - often just a symptom of a lack of confidence in yourself or otherwise an extreme need to avoid failure. Truth be told, failure is a part of success. The more you fail at something the more you learn, grow and along the way you figure out what works, eventually. In this article I'm hoping to shift your paradigm when it comes to the moves you make (or lack thereof). I want to bring your attention to what's holding you back and try to help you push pass it. No more waiting for tomorrow. It's time for you to take a leap. Jump and grow wings on the way!
I have not failed. I just found 10,000 ways that won't work. ~ Thomas A. Edison
The first decision is the hardest to make.
I wasn't always this confident. In fact, several years ago my brother, Russell had to tell me to stop waiting for everything to be perfect and "just do it." I will never forget because his words caused a shift in my conscious thoughts and I began challenging myself to do more of what mattered. It caused me to step out of my comfort zone, stop being afraid of failure and take more risks - against my Capricornian nature. What really matters is this new way of thinking drove me to be more results-driven. From that day, every endeavor I take on I just go for it! I jump right in regardless of how I may feel on the inside. I'm able to do this because I understand one thing; when we make a decision it determines our actions and things begin to unfold.
One decision leads to another and before you know it you're figuring it all out. This was my thinking when I quite my job July of 2020! I kept hearing God say "move!" But I was scared so I rationalized staying. After all, what nearly 40, single mother of 2 just quits her job? Me, that's who. I knew that whatever was next for me wouldn't happen as long as I was still holding on to a job that no longer served my greater good. I felt as if I was being disobedient to God by staying. One Monday I went home and began writing my resignation letter effective Thursday that same week. To hell with a 2-weeks notice! But I never gave it to my employer because I felt crazier than I felt ready. Then something unexpected happened. When I arrived to work on Thursday the power was off. This upset me because I had my dreams to work on and could've stayed home to do so. Instead I was stuck in the dark in the heat of the summer with no air, no computer or system to work on, no productivity and no tolerance for a coworker who snarled at me for giving her constructive feedback during a team discussion. And that's all it took!!
Fast forward to maybe an hour later I was clearing out my desk and letting my employer know I was taking the rest of the day because "I need[ed] to decide if I was going to stay." After being home a few hours I decided to go ahead and "fire my boss!" I went to review my resignation letter and that's when I realized "it was already written." I'd already put this very date down as my resignation day. Let me just say, I talk it 'cause I live it! You betta go 'head and manifest that $!it! This was one of those life-changing, breakthrough, pivotal moments of my life. This was precisely the change I needed but I had to learn to trust God, because Lord knows I didn't trust myself. I truly put all my trust in God on this day.
I share this testimony in hopes to encourage you to JUMP! Not just a random jump, I'm not saying go and be reckless. I'm saying, when you have that gut feeling, when you hear God's voice, when you know-know, you must move your feet. Trust in God because he will see you through. I'm prayerful you will stop waiting and procrastinating ladies. Stop planning everything in your head or going through journal after journal without taking action. It's time to get out of your own way. Make a decision to move your feet and see the results that really count - the ones you desire and have been waiting for.
May your choices reflect your hopes, not your fears. ~ Nelson Mandela
Feel the fear and do it anyway.
Taking a leap is not about being fearless. It's about feeling the fear and doing it anyway. Through this you become stronger and most importantly you become more confident in your abilities to do whatever it is you're working to accomplish. The best way of conquering your fear when it comes to your goals is to do whatever it is you're fearing. After, you'll realize it's never as bad as you imagined things going. For example, I know a couple of women who expressed their fear of posting videos to social media. They either felt they looked or sounded silly, lacked confidence in how they'd appear or be perceived by others on camera, and otherwise couldn't seem to muster up the courage. I used to have these same fears and I got over them by simply going live on social media. The first time was easier because I did it with and for a friend. Then I simply had something I was passionate about and new it was time to exercise my voice. When all else fails, know your WHY. Why do you do what you do, or want what you want? Why are you here? Why you? Why now? And of course, why not?
The world needs you.
We're all here for a reason. We were born with a God-given purposed whether we've figured out what that is or not. If you haven't discovered your purpose yet it may be because you are not moving enough. What does this mean? It means, you learn as you go. Your thinking and perception now is likely very different than it was 10 years ago. Over the past decade your experiences helped shape who you've become today. The same goes for discovering your purpose. Sometimes we're looking to do all the right things but so often it takes doing the "wrong" things and making "mistakes" to come to that aha moment. Much like a puzzle you put the pieces together as you move about searching for matching parts.
No matter where you are on your journey, the world needs you. The world needs your voice. The world needs you to discover that little thing that creates a paradigm shift and lights your fire. Maybe there's something pulling at you to do more or do something completely different than what you've been doing. Go for it! Allow one thing to lead to another. Learn to be adventurous and along for the ride. This is one of my favorite parts - just going where God leads me.
Embrace the journey.
Ahhhh...the journey! The journey is a lot of things. It's messy, challenging, fun, full of ups and downs, self-doubt, distractions, forks in the road. But it's all your own! Embracing the journey and all that comes with it will not only help you learn and grow faster (as you won't be so resistant) but it will also make it that much more enjoyable. When you have the low moments you'll remind yourself they're just temporary and you'll learn to diligently look for the lessons you're supposed to learn. When you have high moments you'll learn to appreciate and celebrate them. Remember it is about the journey because there is no final destination.
Embrace the journey. Embrace the change. Growth doesn't come from things staying the same.
If you've come here you're probably looking for something, to discover something within yourself. My advice is to never give up. I was talking to a friend yesterday and she said to me, "I know you'll do it because you never give up." It's amazing what others notice in you and very rewarding when they verbalize it from a place of love, respect and admiration. It's important to surround yourself with loved ones like these. If you find them hard to come by, that's okay. Continue doing the inner work, reading, putting your thoughts on paper, tapping into all your resources. Your time will come and I have faith that like me, you will never give up. You got this!!
Your turn. Keep Good Going...
Now it's your turn. If you found the information in this article valuable be sure to share it with your friends and loved ones for you never know whom you may inspire with just one simple act of kindness.
About the Author
Lovisa Woodson II works as a Mindset & Fulfillment Coach helping women achieve greater life satisfaction, professional success and financial independence. She is a proud mother and lover of humanity, always looking for ways to add value to the lives of others. Her mission is to live her best life so she may teach others to do the same. Lovisa encourages us all to seek fulfillment over happiness and to always seize opportunities to be a blessing to others.